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Joke of the Day

"Me: Tell me about your weekend. Bob: Why? You never ask. Me: I find your voice acts like a laxative. Bob: That's disgus- Me: It worked! Bye."

"If Cookie Monster was going to eat a country, what country would he eat? Viet-nom-nom-nom-nom"

"Punny wednesday The phone rang 'green green' and so I pink up the phone. ""Yellow? Blue is this? Can you speak louder? I can't hear you purplerly, I'll call you black later."""

"Wake Me Up Before You YOLO. #RuinAn80sSong"

"Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!"

"Why did batman leave church? Because Christian Baled"

"Went to a talk at the pencil factory they made a series of excellent points"

"What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey!"

"Yttrium-barium-copper oxide walks into a bar The bartender tells him, ""We don't serve superconductors here."" He leaves without resistance."

"I have 6 locks on my door. When I leave, I lock 3. So no matter how long somebody tries to pick the locks, they are always locking 3. Suckas"