36713

Joke of the Day

"It sucks when you try to join a gang in a new city and find out none of your street creds transferred."

"There's no greater waste of time in life than wishing a one-year-old a happy birthday."

"""I don't know, do you guys really think the first rule should be 'Must Wash Hands?'"" early brainstorming session on Fight Club script."

"Anything I search on the internet just shows weird porn... What is the world coming to?? [ https://explosm.net/comics/2576/ ]"

"I woke up to the crack of Dawn the other day... I said ""Dawn! Get off my face!"""

"We need to look at how the world really works, not just accept the way we are told it works."

"I want to die like my Grandpa: peacefully in my sleep. Not screaming like everyone else in the car."

"I wish I lived in the 20s so I could wear hats, smoke cigarettes and say stuff like, ""Hey big cheese, this giggle water is the cat's meow."""

"Food products made from real ingredients, unlike margarine, are whey butter."

"Today I asked my mom what she did for a living, she replied ""I'm a headmaster"". To which my dad replied ""yeah she is"""