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Joke of the Day

"I want to die like my Grandpa: peacefully in my sleep. Not screaming like everyone else in the car."

"What online payment service does the Pope use? Papal."

"What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry ? A hoppercraft !"

"Mother in law found me... On the twitter This will be converted into a pineapple upside down cake blog for the next 72 hours. I'm so sorry"

"Why aren't jokes in base 8 funny? Because 7, 10, 11."

"Why Is Santa So Jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live >:)"

"How do you become invisible? Get a child and then perform sex-altering surgery. Then you become a transparent."

"Q: What kind of television do horses like? A: Saddle-lite TV"

"Why do watermelons have water in Them? Because they are planted in the spring!"

"A girl who lives hundreds of miles away texting you ""I'm drunk"" is like a lasagna texting you from Italy saying ""I'm delicious"""