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Joke of the Day

"I woke up to the crack of Dawn the other day... I said ""Dawn! Get off my face!"""

"It's amazing that even 20 years later, pretending to shoot heroin with an mechanical pencil can still be a great way to procrastinate."

"What's Terrance Howard's favorite Radiohead song? ""(1 x 1 = 2) + 2 = 5"""

"I was suffering from constipation the other day but I really didn't care In fact, I didn't even give a shit."

"I hate it when homeless people shake their cups with change in it at me I get it, you have more money than me so stop showing off"

"It's really too bad that Magic Johnson played in an era in which the hilarity of his nickname was so underappreciated."

"Father O'Flannagan and the Taxi Driver"

"Why are Twitter jokes not as funny when you read them aloud to a friend? It's not like they had to be there..."

"Hillbillies are getting restless. Neighbor kid is dancing around a burn barrel listening to Whitesnake & wearing a Batman mask"

"What kinda psychopath tries to get in touch with someone by calling them on the phone. What is this...1984?"