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Joke of the Day

"""I don't know, do you guys really think the first rule should be 'Must Wash Hands?'"" early brainstorming session on Fight Club script."

"Did y'all hear about the kid born without eye lids Whenever they circumcised him they used the skin to make him eye lids. He's doing well but they say he's a lil cock eyed now"

"Why are teachers always making answer keys? So they can open doors of opportunity for their students."

"What is Imperator Furiosa's least favorite type of ice cream? Rocky Road."

"Sorry I misunderstood BYOB, what should I do with this buffalo?"

"Why was the nose running? Cuz it's a running nose"

"What did the Indian tailor say to the patron who came in naked? ""What sarong with you?"""

"Bohemian Rhapsody should be an official unit of measure. ""I can shower in 1 Bohemian Rhapsody."" ""Ran a 5K in under 6 Bohemian Rhapsodies."""

"why do italian women wear long black gloves? to cover up their long black hair"

"Everyone in ""Star Wars"". Everyone in ""The Muppets"". Everyone in ""Game of Thrones"". This is now the first tweet with over 140 characters."