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Joke of the Day

"Texts: Cool! What does it say? Emails: Oh God... what do they want? Phone call: I basically assume someone has died."

"I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger... ... Then it hit me!"

"The problem with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur. -George.W.Bush"

"Why can't a storm trooper get a girl pregnant? Because they always miss their target!"

"So, It's not ok to write ""always best to have a spare incase you break the first one"" on facebook, when someone announces a second pregnancy"

"The agony of dyslexia I stopped in to visit my dyslexic friend last night. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him: ""You idiot!"" ""You're supposed to turn your clock back!"

"Whichever way you cut it, it's always a piece of cake Title"

"Why periods? Why can't mother nature just tweet me and be like ""Waddup girl. You ain't pregnant. Have a great week. Talk to you next month"""

"A girl couldn't decide which mascara to use Bitch couldn't makeup her mind."

"What do you call a doll with a fiddle and a hatred of Jews? A Doll Fiddler"