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Joke of the Day

"So, It's not ok to write ""always best to have a spare incase you break the first one"" on facebook, when someone announces a second pregnancy"

"If jerk chicken could talk, what would it say? ""Fuck-ooooff, fuck-ooooff, FUCK-OFF!!!"""

"I decided to take an aerobics class. I bent... twisted... gyrated... jumped up and down... and perspired for a half an hour. But by thetime I got my tights on.... the class was over!"

"""Doctor, tennis has caused bad pain in my forearms"" -There's nothing I can do ""There isn't?"" -Not until you bring in your other two arms"

"Did you know that Justin Bieber has a 12 inch cock? Yep. It's in his ass and belongs to Usher."

"Teacher: If I lay one egg here and another there how many eggs will there be? Fred: None! Fred (surprised): Why not? Fred: Because you can't lay eggs!"

"Blind man walks into a bar... ...bartender asks if he likes his beer light or dark."

"My wife ordered a pizza from Papa John's but I saved a step by throwing up before it got here."

"How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 3/5"

"What is Obama's least favourite instrument in an orchestra? The Trumppence"