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Joke of the Day
"Instead of a flower girl, I want a parmesan boy to sprinkle cheese down the aisle at my wedding"
Next Joke
"What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and your TV is floating? ""Man, wall mounts are awesome."""
"If laughter is the best medicine, Jimmy Fallon doesn't need health insurance."
"Why do the birthers...? Why do the Birthers care about where Barack Obama was born (Hawaii, not Kenya) and not where Ted Cruz was born (Canada, not Texas)? Because Barack Obama is black."
"Told my mom ""The D"" stood for donuts, and now she won't stop telling people she wants the chocolate D."
"Toddler: I don't like you. *hits* Adult: I don't like you. *tracks your movements for the rest of your life*"
"Men are funnier than women Scientists say humor resides in the penis. I think this is true; people are always laughing when they see mine"
"Injections are just like your wedding night A little prick and then it's all over"
"""Hey, what's that Febreeze that smells like Fireball?"" Yeah, non-alchoholics call that cinnamon."
"Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she brings down the bridge too"