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Joke of the Day

"Instead of a flower girl, I want a parmesan boy to sprinkle cheese down the aisle at my wedding"

"Jesus has seen me naked and that's why he made me funny."

"The longest relationship I had was 10 days. Then she deflated."

"What do you call assistants that help citrus fruit? Lemonade."

"Why do pessimists always think it's the weekend? Because every day is a sadder-day."

"Why did the sperm cross the road? I put on the wrong pair of socks this morning."

"SWJ goes to the laundromat . . . . . . . . and is appalled by everybody being ok with separating whites from coloreds."

"What kind of fish will help you hear better ? A herring aid !"

"Local news is like Facebook. You get stories you don't care about, some jerk talks about weather and it all ends with pictures of animals doing funny stuff."

"[politics] I think Trump settled the whole ""tiny hands equals small penis"" argument today... It must take a pretty massive dick to fuck the entire world at once"