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Joke of the Day

"Girlfriend left a note on the fridge ""this isn't working, you take everything too literally"". She'll be so happy when she sees the new one."

"Recent study has revealed that masturbation might help curing the common cold. Well I hope it is true because I haven't got any more tissues left.."

"What's the difference between fire and water? Everything, dumbass"

"A skeleton walks into a bar and says, ""Gimme a beer and a mop."""

"Can you imagine what would happen if Kate Middleton started doing porn? She would be *royally* fucked!"

"The only two things I hate are Racism and The Portuguese"

"Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night."

"Reminder: Please just hit the ""RT"" button on my tweets if you're ugly. Don't want people associating your busted face with my art."

"An eskimo was showing another eskimo pictures of his house... ... The other eskimo said ""That's an ice picture!""."

"What do you call a cocktail of iced tea and skittles? A trayvon martini. Yeah I thought that joke might GARNER some negative attention. It was a 1/5 joke. 3/5 with RICE."