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Joke of the Day

"Can you imagine what would happen if Kate Middleton started doing porn? She would be *royally* fucked!"

"What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Santa? Santa stops at 3 'Ho's'"

"If I stalked you any harder, you'd be a missing person."

"I answer private number calls with: ""Rent a Gent hello"""

"What did the blue denims say to the black denims? I guess we have different genes!"

"What is the one thing you can't say even on the internet? [removed]"

"My vacuum cleaner is so good it collects dust even when I don't use it."

"Just said, ""Sorry, I have to go,"" out loud to my computer."

"90% of being a parent is shouting, ""Remember to flush the toilet."" The other 10% is flushing the toilet for everyone."

"Don't judge a man until you walk a mile in his shoes. Unless he wears Crocs. Then, feel free to judge all you want...."