198517
Joke of the Day
"Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night."
Next Joke
"What kind of currency do astronauts use in space? Starbucks"
"*montage of me teaching a penguin to do everything my son Brian can do* Wife: Where's Brian? Me: [studying her closely] He's... right here?"
"DOUBLE VISION Breasts are proof that men can concentrate on 2 things at once"
"What does a gay horse eat? Haaaaaaeeeeyyyyy"
"I knew my younger sister was becoming an archeologist after she started dating her best friend's father. She loves to be around old bones."
"As a politician... You need to shake hands & kiss babies... ...and take good care not to confuse the two."
"What does Batman use to wash his hair? Conditioner Gordon."
"[Ad shows dude getting out of bed before noon on the weekend] *professional stuntman do not attempt*"
"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing, they're both stuck up cunts."