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Joke of the Day

"Recent study has revealed that masturbation might help curing the common cold. Well I hope it is true because I haven't got any more tissues left.."

"Kid behind me on plane kicking my chair and coloring. *turns around* *grabs one of his crayons* *slowly breaks it* *whispers ""you're next""*"

"I used to date a baker... But she was too kneady."

"An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... I only know this because this joke is reposted here every god damn week."

"Barista: ""Welcome to Starbucks!"" Me: ""Large coffee please."" B: ""It's venti!"" Me: ""Then close all the windows after you get my large coffee."""

"What is every young lady`s ultimate Disney fantasy? To sit on Pinnochio`s face and hope he tells lies."

"Wish triscuits would focus less on that basket weave design and more on not tasting like actual basket."

"What does a witch get if she's a poor traveler? Broom sick."

"As my eyesight gets worse my parents blame video games while my optometrist says it's due to the roundness of my eyeball. One way or the other, there is a stigma."

"Why are men sexier than women? Because you can't spell sexy without xy."