155075

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a cocktail of iced tea and skittles? A trayvon martini. Yeah I thought that joke might GARNER some negative attention. It was a 1/5 joke. 3/5 with RICE."

"What is musical and handy in the supermarket. A Chopin Lizst."

"awfully bold of you to fly the Good Year blimp on a year that has been extremely bad thus far"

"Q: Why did the Eskimo wash his clothes in tide? A: Because it was too cold out tide."

"I hate girls that complain about being single every 3 minutes. 90% of my socks are single & you don't see them crying about it."

"*a tree branch bursts into a bank with a gun* ""THIS IS A STICK UP"" *everyone laughs* ""GUYS IM SERIOUS"" *more laughter* ""DAMN IT"" *leaves*"

"Grab a plate and throw it on the floor. Did it break? Yes? Ok, now tell it you're sorry. Good, now, did it unbreak? No? Now you understand."

"I hate it when you're about to sacrifice a baby, and you notice one of the other satanists is wearing the same robes."

"Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? It heard the ref was blowing fowls."

"My Version Of Flirting! My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive and hoping they're braver than I am."