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Joke of the Day

"Reminder: Please just hit the ""RT"" button on my tweets if you're ugly. Don't want people associating your busted face with my art."

"Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming."

"why do gorillas have big nostrils? Big fingers!!!"

"[Spoiler] Mark Hamill Star Wars joke Mark Hamill is such a loser he didn't even get a single word in the new Star Wars"

"Saw a ""Toby Keith's I Love This Bar"" that went out of business. Apparently he was the only one."

"Why is Bud light kinda like making love on a canoe? Because it's like fucking close to water."

"TIL: Every ship is equipped to be a minesweeper at least once"

"A twelve year old girl finishes her bath in the Atlantic. She goes to her eight year old sister and starts a fight with her. And thus we have Ocean's Twelve vs. Hateful Eight."

"What did the one female tampon say to the other female tampon? Nothing. They're both stuck-up cunts."

"what is the best way to smuggle drugs? In your dogs asshole. Should there be border control frisking, it will be perceived as two dogs plain wolfing"