33463

Joke of the Day

"Eight dwarves are in a tub, feeling happy Happy got out now they're all fucking grumpy Edit: seven dwarves, sorry"

"As a woman it's annoying when men think they are better drivers When I'm trying to park I don't need you to offer help every 20 minutes"

"What's the best part about fucking twenty-two year old's? They are in their sexual prime."

"Husband said our electricity bills are too high need to cut back so I asked him to move."

"What did one Christmas ornament say to the other Christmas ornament? Let's hang."

"What should we call this portable computer? SOME GUY: Laptop [everyone applauds...w/ tears in my eyes i crumple a paper that says Kneeputer]"

"Whats the name of the band with the most hits? the hitlers!"

"Don't play the game where you listen to Mellencamp's ""Small Town"" and drink every time he says ""small town"". I just woke up in a dumpster."

"Difference What is the difference between an English Womans pussy and a bowling ball. If you TRY REALLY REALLY hard, you can eat a bowling ball."

"""Every time I go out, the paparazzi wants to make an oil painting of me. So annoying."" - 1700s celebrity"