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Joke of the Day

"Difference What is the difference between an English Womans pussy and a bowling ball. If you TRY REALLY REALLY hard, you can eat a bowling ball."

"What's tall, white and has ears? A mountain."

"It makes me sad that in this age of computers and video games, children will never understand what it's like to be raised by television."

"[steps off treadmill] ""Hey girl [out of breath, hands on knee] you like f-fitness? Cos I'm fitn--"" ""Shall I call an ambulance?"" ""Please."""

"ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING: Hiring recent college grads REQUIREMENTS: 5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and superpowers."

"According to my bank account, I'm Rich! Rich Anderson, the name of the man whose identity I stole."

"I always use a short cut when I'm going to knife fight a midget."

"When I was young I wanted to date a doctor for money. Can you believe how superficial I was?!? Now I would date him for the prescriptions."

"What do you call a cow that gives no milk? An udder failure."

"About the blind man that took up parachuting. He had loads of fun, but his guide dog didn't."