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Joke of the Day

"Don't play the game where you listen to Mellencamp's ""Small Town"" and drink every time he says ""small town"". I just woke up in a dumpster."

"I almost got killed because my Superman cloak wasn't the correct size. It was a narrow ""S"" cape."

"I'll rephrase the question, your honor. Sir, under whose custody did the dogs escape from?? And let me remind you that you're under oath"

"What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals ? He went down really well !"

"I hope death is a woman... That way it will never come for me."

"People only hate jury duty because they have to go to a courthouse. Let em stay home and they'll tweet who's guilty all day."

"My girlfriend just asked me.. What's an English geologist's favourite fruit? A pomegranate."

"What did one snowman say to the other? ""Weird...I smell carrots, too."""

"Being a grown up is throwing something at the trash can, missing, then actually going over and picking it back up."

"Why is the alphabet of a pirate incomplete ? Because they lost an I."