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Joke of the Day

"Whats the name of the band with the most hits? the hitlers!"

"me: so what, you're gonna be angry at me for the rest of your life wife: no, the rest of yours"

"Nothing makes me want to leave a web page more than a popup window saying, ""Are you sure you want to leave this page?"""

"You might be a hipster if... Friend: Did you see that <funny cat picture> on reddit's frontpage? Me: Naah, I don't subscribe to all the big, popular subreddits."

"What do you call wifi in space? Mars Bars"

"It's a doge eat doge world out there. Such cutthroat. Very survival of the fitter"

"I just want a car with pop-up headlights. Do they still make those? Love would be good too."

"What's my type? Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I'm describing my bed again."

"Just another day in math class Teacher - what is 0.1 as a fraction Student - 1/10th Teacher - good, now what does 10% mean? Student - low battery plug in your phone"

"Trying to get this hot girl at the bar jealous, so I'm slow dancing & making out with a potted plant. It's working, she's been staring at me"