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Joke of the Day

"To me, girls are like porta-potties. The hotter they are, the less likely I am to get inside of them."

"What do you say to a pregnant woman who wants to force her child to become a Rabbi? When is the baby Jew?"

"I wish life was more like hockey... Who doesn't want a horn to sound when their period ends?"

"The first time your mom saw me naked She asked for an epidural"

"Adam and Eve: The first people to not read the Apple terms and conditions."

"Shit's Creek is actually quite lovely when you bring paddles."

"What species are the best rappers? Dragons, because they're always spittin' fire."

"I thought it was funny... I asked a guy with Tourette's what made him tic... He didn't find the humor."

"What does a dyslexic agnostic insomniac do? ...Stays up all night pondering the existence of a dog"

"*Buys map of world, pins it up on wall* *Throws dart, swears to visit wherever it lands* *Visits the middle of the Atlantic Ocean*"