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Joke of the Day

"What do you say to a pregnant woman who wants to force her child to become a Rabbi? When is the baby Jew?"

"What are 5 ""Ms"" from Detroit? GM, Eminem and Michael Moore."

"What did the Bra say to the Hat? You go on ahead while i give these two a lift."

"It's so weird and coincidental that everyone who likes me is cool and smart and everyone who doesn't is an egomaniacal asshole."

"Follow your dreams, do what you love, and you'll never work a day in your life! Because they're not hiring in that field."

"I wish there was a way to musically tell someone to pour sugar on you but there isn't"

"In my experience, the quickest way to escape Jury Duty? As they read out the charges, yell out, ""Oh c'mon...even I've done THAT!"""

"I'm so patriotic; I piss red, white, and blue. My doctor told me it was pancreatic cancer. I told him to shut his commie mouth!"

"parents, think twice before dressing your child as Cecil the Lion this year. my son will be dressed as a dentist, and I gave him a real gun"

"Hey girl, are you a derivative function? Cuz I wanna be tangent to your curves."