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Joke of the Day

"Why was Yoda afraid of seven? Because six seven eight."

"Of course I care about the environment. I spray air freshener every time I leave the restroom don't I?"

"Whatever, Usain Bolt. I've been finishing in under 10 seconds for years."

"Every time I see the headline 'tragedy on film set' I think oh god m knight shymalan is making another goddamn movie"

"How do you make a song better using cement? By remixing it."

"Tonight's going to be a good night if I can get that stupid song out of my head. Otherwise, no."

"I'm a trustworthy friend. Count on me to tell you when our relationship is over."

"-You think I'd make a bad Private Eye 'cause I can't read body language? I will prove you wrong! -Sir, you're talking to the murder victim"

"I just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It only took me six months, which is amazing considering the box says 2-4 years."

"Did you hear about what happened when the anime studio tried to make a sex-ed video? Kids kept getting confused about why the octopus was showing up."