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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard the one about the single lady and the hitman? probably not, the punchline is a dead miss."

"I asked my wife to tell me something that made me happy and sad at the same time... She said ""Out of all your friends, you have the biggest dick.""."

"My wife thinks I'm too drunk to take the goldfish for a walk, but I'll show her!"

"[candy store] ME: I'd like to return this Tic Tac. CLERK: It looks partially eaten. ME: It's still in... CLERK: Don't ME: ...mint condition."

"These attacks in Paris were really terrible 13/11 never baguette"

"Doctor Doctor I've broke my arm in two places Well don't go back there again then!"

"What do you call a chronic masturbaiter in Turkey? A jerkin Turkin"

"A sandwich walks into a bar. Bartender says, ""You gotta leave. We don't serve food here."""

"What do priests and zits have in common? They bost bust on 12 year Olds faces"

"(Pickup line) Are you a test-tube baby? Because you're perfect."