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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about what happened when the anime studio tried to make a sex-ed video? Kids kept getting confused about why the octopus was showing up."

"*gets laser eye surgery* ""Thanks doc, so how do I activate them?"" I told you, that's not what *i squint at him real hard but he's right*"

"TEXTATIONSHIP: a person that texts you all the time but never makes an effort to see you."

"A guy goes to get a physical... The doctor says ""Sir, you have to stop masturbating."" ""Why?"" ""Because I'm trying to give you a physical."""

"What do you call a fist fight at noon? A lunchbox"

"A joke that never ends.. I would like to start a thread that everyone adds to the joke and see how creative we can all get"

"Just found out today that the barber of my neighborhood got arrested for selling drugs. I'm shocked! I was his customer for years and didn't know he cut hair!"

"How much does a hipster weigh? ....An instagram."

"Noble chemistry jokes Argon walks into a bar, and the bartender says ""Sorry, we don't serve noble gasses here."" Argon doesn't react."

"My Dad always calls me goldfish... I forget why"