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Joke of the Day

"My friend once told me ""You must be the most pedantic person in the entire world."" ""Third most, actually."""

"My friends call me Superman, not because I help people, its because I wear the same clothes everyday"

"The forest animals are about to rip me apart but suddenly they back off. Hillary Clinton emerges from the trees. The animals bow their heads"

"Why don't melons ever run away and get married? Because they cantaloupe"

"What do you call a frat house in a quarry? A bromine."

"How do you know when a grenade is thrown by a blonde? When you can pull the pin and throw it back"

"My grandpa has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the local zoo."

"How do you know a cat is ready to leave? He makes a fe-line for the door."

"How do you make an Asian Blind? you put a windshield in front of them"

"What do you call it when you torture corn to death? Macabre!"