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Joke of the Day

"I'm good at 2 things: interviews and first dates... Turns out they're a bit alike. One gets me a job that blows, the other gets me a blowjob."

"What did the Ocean say to the Beach? Nothing, it just waved... Thank you, than you.... I'm here all week"

"""It's a bird!"" [Superman zooms down to inches away from the screaming guy's face] S: Birds can't go that fast Sean. What are you an idiot"

"Remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else"

"What kind of bikes do girls ride? Menstrual Cycles (I'm 99% sure I made this up!)"

"A Poem Roses are grey. Violets are grey. Lol, I'm a dog."

"Two men came to the door asking if I'd found Jesus. I said ""Hell no. I don't want to have to spend my weekends bothering people at home."""

"What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah ? A dog that chases cars - and catches them !"

"How many ants can you fit inside an apartment ? Ten-ants !"

"Whats the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you."