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Joke of the Day

"I'm good at 2 things: interviews and first dates... Turns out they're a bit alike. One gets me a job that blows, the other gets me a blowjob."

"Freedom of expression is great... I can make a kissy face, smiley face or a frowny face, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it"

"I took my turtle for a walk. It's been six months and we are finally at the end of my driveway."

"Some guys robbed a bank, and to escape, they blew a hole in the wall... the police are looking into it."

"What is the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire."

"A young boy asks his Dad :""What is the difference between confident and confidential? Dad says: ""You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, THAT is confidential."

"Sometimes I put my head between my legs and fall forward. Thats how I roll."

"What do you call a penguin with a smoking problem? It's a puffin!"

"A Canadian walks into a bar A metal bar. BANG! ""Sorry!"" says the Canadian."

"A guy at work lost his thumb and had to replace it with his big toe. (True Story) Now we ask to get ""your foot off the table"" when he's eating."