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Joke of the Day

"A funny thing to do when someone's dog barks at you is say, ""I don't speak dog,"" and then when they leave the room, speak dog fluently."

"sorry i lost my nudes can u send me yours"

"I'm just me looking for fun"

"Cop: You there! Hands over your head! Me: *raises hands* *30 avocados fall out of shirt* Cop: Holy guacamole!"

"An angry husband returned home one night to find his wife in bed with a naked man. 'What are you doing' he shouted. To which his wife said to her lover 'See I told you he was stupid'"

"What's a Mathematician's favourite Christmas pudding? Yule ln!"

"I'd slap you but I'm pretty sure they would call it animal cruelty."

"I'm going to do my Christmas shopping in Missouri. I hear the deals are so hot the stores are practically on fire!"

"My iPhone has 2 million times the storage of the 1969 Apollo 11 spacecraft computer. They went to the moon. I throw birds at pig houses."

"A tee-shirt idea For tourists in Virginia: ""Congratulations on losing your Virginia-ty"""