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Joke of the Day

"Helpline? I've just pushed a piece of bacon into my disk drive! Has the computer stopped working? No but there's a lot of crackling."

"Had to fire my personal Trainer. He dint do squat."

"Why was the sand wet? Because the sea-weed"

"I wouldn't let you touch me with a 10 foot pole! No seriously, why do you have a 10 foot pole?! THAT'S NOT NORMAL!"

"What is the definition of disgusting? Putting 7 oysters up your girlfriend and sucking out 8"

"I tried to use a watch as a belt But it's just a waist of time"

"A Rabbi, a Priest and a Minister walk into a bar... And the bartender says, ""Is this a Joke?"""

"Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that? Boy: Me! I'm going home now."

"My boss asked me which Game of Thrones house he'd best be placed in... I told him House Lannister because it only takes one hand to go fuck yourself."

"What is it with people who text and drive? I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them."