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Joke of the Day
"I'd slap you but I'm pretty sure they would call it animal cruelty."
Next Joke
"Whats the difference between Donald Trump and a Vacuum? Nothing. Both are really loud, and full of shit."
"what sex position produces the ugliest babies? ask your mother"
"What do you call a male robot that likes to dress up in women's clothing? A transistor."
"What's the difference between a Pilot and a jet engine? A jet engine stops whining after it lands"
"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It might take me a while to get hard, i just got laid by a chick."
"Some people say that The Big Bang Theory disproves God... I mean, sure, it's not the best show, but I wouldn't go *that* far."
"2 fish were in a tank, what did one of them say to the other? How do I drive this thing?"
"[walking quickly past the old lady I just held the door open for] this doesn't mean you can order before me"
"How does Sherlock prefer his tea? Steeped in mystery!"