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Joke of the Day

"The Dalai Lama went into a pizza shop.. And asked them to make him one with everything."

"Why can the Cornish always lend a hand? They probably have a spare."

"""Awww. There there."" *pats you on the face. Hard"

"How do you catch a WiFi? With an ethernet!"

"How does the Easter Bunny keep his ears standing straight up? He uses Hare Spray... (Ill see myself out)"

"Take my advice I'm not using it."

"Stabbed myself in the eye with a yellow pen and now everything looks all Instagramy."

"Pretty sure my refrigerator is having sex with itself from all the noises its making."

"If people rode their spouses like they did their brakes the divorce rate would drop drastically."

"Today I realised I really want to tie the knot with the missus. Anyone know where I can find instructions for noose tying?"