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Joke of the Day
"Stabbed myself in the eye with a yellow pen and now everything looks all Instagramy."
Next Joke
"What is an architects favorite movie? Angles in the Outfield"
"Crime doesn't pay... does that mean that my job is a crime?"
"How do you know tickle me Elmo is male? Because before he leaves the factory they give him two test tickles."
"I like my women like I like my coffee. Imported fair trade from Africa."
"How did the musician catch his fish? He castanet"
"I think my girlfriend is being stalked... ...because I've been seeing people behind her back."
"What do you do with an epileptic lettuce? Make seizure salad!"
"""The Walking Dad,"" but it's just a guy walking around the house turning off lights and muttering that he's ""not made of money"""
"What kind of movie do mathematicians most often watch? -rated movies"