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Joke of the Day

"Why did 20 blondes stand outside the bar? Because you need to be 21 to get in."

"Ray Rice. Michael Vick. And now Adrian Peterson. Congratulations, NFL. Your woman/children/animal abuse trifecta is officially complete."

"My friend hasn't had a bite all day. So I bit him."

"Everyone decides to come into my circumference right AFTER I fart. Always."

"The family pet is getting old so we're all pitching in and throwing the dog poop in the neighbors yard when she can't make it over there."

"Do you know why there are so many great bakeries in Germany? They had to do *something* with all of the ovens."

"What is red and bad for your teeth? Bricks"

"Me: I'm super funny. I mean, how could 13K people be wrong? Husband: There were WAY more people in the Nazi party. Me:................."

"[Obamacare Meeting] *Biden raises hand* *Obama sighs* Yes Joe? Will the doctor still have lollipops? Sure. *Entire Congress sighs w/ relief*"

"Of course it's you. if it was me I wouldn't even bring it up."