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Joke of the Day

"Me: I'm super funny. I mean, how could 13K people be wrong? Husband: There were WAY more people in the Nazi party. Me:................."

"What's a dinosaurs least favorite reindeer? Comet"

"They should remake The Ring; instead of a tape, the creepy little girl uploads her video to YouTube and wipes out pretty much everybody."

"Why was the necrophiliac depressed? His rotten girlfriend split on him."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To show these fu**in pedestrians how its done!"

"I named my dog Herpes... If she's good, she'll heel. (Stolen from Priscilla)"

"What is the difference between a human and a potato? Time"

"Me: Ugh! I never know what to say in these situations... Friend: You say 'good morning' back"

"What did the constipated mathematician do? He sat down and worked it out with a pencil."

"I had a dream last night... ...that I was eating a massive marshmallow, it was huge! And then when I woke up this morning, my pillow was gone!"