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Joke of the Day

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? By walking...... JK Rowling"

"Boss: You can't drink while you're working! Me: Oh, I'm not working."

"If U are nervous about public speaking, no need to picture the audience naked, just realize they will be on their phone ignoring you anyway."

"Have you heard the joke about the bed? No. It hasn't been made up yet!"

"Cop: we have you surrounded! Get down on the ground now! Cardboard Man: sigh not again *cops start breakdancing*"

"The fact that I have to debate evolution with people means it doesn't work quite as well as I'd like it to."

"Are you an arson and a musician? WOOOOOOOAAHHHHHooOOO, YOUR SAX IS ON FIRE!"

"What is the worst thing to happen to an anagrammer? It is to get West Nile in the stew line."

"[Opens hand sanitiser] SUbmiT YoUr SOuL tO EternAL HeLL fiRe [closes lid] wtf? [looks at label] LINDA YOU BOUGHT HAND SATANISER AGAIN"

"What do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a homosexual? A megasauranus."