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Joke of the Day

"Fox News: Trump looks strong! CNN: Hillary should get the win! MSNBC: If you put a buncha hot dogs in a hamburger bun, is that a sandwich???"

"Just thought of one: Why is an abortionist good to have on your team? If you conceive something, they can execute it."

"LPT: If your girl ever asks you which of her friends you want to have a three-way with, DO NOT GIVE HER TWO NAMES!"

"The Santa Clause (1994) A man gains a ton of weight after murdering a stranger on his roof"

"My surgeon friend that specialized in Augmentation Mammaplasty just died. I regret not being there the moment he took his last breast."

"""Will I ever live in a clean house again?"" *shakes magic 8 ball *magic 8 ball explodes and makes a mess"

"Research shows that smoking pot does not make you paranoid. But I highly doubt it."

"Only mass transit kids will get this! We rank the top rails, the third one will shock you!"

"The pirate was pretty tired... He YARwned."

"I really want to kill my roommate but I just dont know if I could live with myself."