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Joke of the Day

"My surgeon friend that specialized in Augmentation Mammaplasty just died. I regret not being there the moment he took his last breast."

"What happened in France? Did they release a GTA Go?"

"How are a tupperware container and a walrus alike? They both like a tight seal."

"My girlfriend said we should split up because she can't handle me acting like a detective all the time... ""GOOD IDEA!"" I said... ""We can cover more ground that way!"""

"What did Emma Sulkowicz get for her birthday? I don't know but I'll tell you what she didn't get. Raped"

"What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? ""Captain"" you fucking racist!"

"Why do all Pirates wear eye patches? Chuck Norris."

"funny My uncle was a racist piano player, all his work sounded awful because he skipped all the black keys."

"What is the French verb that means ""To declare war""? *Surrendre*"

"drank a Mike's Hard Lemonade & crashed my dirt bike into a mailbox RT @McDonalds Good morning! How was your weekend?"