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Joke of the Day

"LPT: If your girl ever asks you which of her friends you want to have a three-way with, DO NOT GIVE HER TWO NAMES!"

"A man walks into a bar with a gun And shouts, ""Who the hell fucked my wife?!"" A man in the back replied ""You haven't got enough bullets mate!"""

"So my neighbour knocked on my door at 3am.. 3 AM! Can you believe that?! He was lucky I was still playing on my drumkit.."

"Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!"

"ATTENTION: This afternoon I will attempt to travel back in time and change history. You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses world war II and Wednesday comes after Tuesday."

"So glad the new phone book arrived, because I hate texting the wrong number from the rotary phone in my Ford Model T."

"Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines everywhere."

"[How the rap feud started] Me: can u invite all the rappers to my b'day party? 2pac: sure, no biggie Biggie[eavesdropping]: [wipes tears]"

"I used to be addicted... To the hokey pokey but I turned myself around"

"when you're a kid you're like ""how do actors cry so easily?"" and when you grow up you're like ""how is anyone ever not crying?"""