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Joke of the Day

"[death row] Guard: alright tough guy one last meal Me: a cyanide pill Guard: what? no we want to kill you! Me: too bad Guard: aw man"

"Yo momma cooks so bad... The flys all chipped in and fixed the screen door. >we're here all night, don't forget to tip your waiter!!"

"[Knee-slappin, terrible OC] Why was the nun named ""NPN""? She was a trans-sister! *** I'm so sorry for wasting your precious mouse clicks on that god-awful joke"

"I saw a woman with no arms today... ...she was statuesque."

"Mom: You're a son of a bitch! Son: That makes you a bitch! Mom: You sure? *This is the story of how I found out I was adopted*"

"I mentioned my back pain to my dad in passing today. His reply? ""At least it's all behind you."""

"Why did Helen Keller masterbate with one hand? So she could moan with the other XD"

"Cooking is actually really easy for anyone to do It's just that most people don't have thyme."

"I tried to smuggle LSD across the border using my ass The bag broke, then I had the shittiest trip"

"yo mama's teeth are so yellow that when she smiles traffic slows down."