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Joke of the Day

"Yo momma cooks so bad... The flys all chipped in and fixed the screen door. >we're here all night, don't forget to tip your waiter!!"

"What blood type do happy people have? B Positive."

"There was an episode of the Flintstones where a mechanic worked on Fred's car HEY FRED YOURE GETTING RIPPED OFF THERE IS NO ENGINE IN THERE"

"What did Optimus Prime say to Arcee? Have you ever blown a Transformer?"

"Kim Jong Un called me an asshole. I retorted back that he doesn't have an asshole, which is why he is so full of shit."

"[spelling bee] Your word is 'arrogance' ""Can you use it in a sentence?"" Of course I can, don't be stupid"

"Why does fluoride cause apathy? Who cares."

"Why does Santa have such a big sack? Because he only comes once a year."

"I tried suing Amtrak for misplacing my luggage. I lost my case."

"Dust bunnies are great pets because they thrive on neglect."