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Joke of the Day
"I identify as a sexual atheist With a strong belief that I will never get laid."
Next Joke
"What's the easiest way to come out of the closet? 1. Open door 2. Walk out"
"LPT: Never use hyperbole."
"Science tells us there are far fewer female autists than male... But thanks to the pay gap, there are far more female starving autists."
"Got to admire these NFL players who are so committed to their jobs of beating the shit out of people that they do it even in their off time."
"How do you tell the difference between a chemistry professor and a politician ? Just ask them to read this word: unionized."
"Why do Chemists have so much debt? Because they have so much Antimony!"
"Addiction therapist: You've tweeted 36k tweets in a year. Me: Yeah, so? Therapist: What are you paying me for? Me: Material. Therapist: ..."
"genie: ""thats definitely your last wish?"" me: [smiles at my wife in wheelchair] ""yes"" genie: ""ok"" our dog: ""how can i talk all of a sudden?"""
"Have you heard about the man with no dick ? he came outta nowhere"