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Joke of the Day

"How do you tell the difference between a chemistry professor and a politician ? Just ask them to read this word: unionized."

"If your parachute doesn't deploy don't worry.. You have the rest of your life to fix it."

"Have you ever been to an Amish party? Those guys really raise the roof!"

"""Awwww, that is so sweet! I think you're outstanding too!"" me, to the collection agency"

"You can lead a horse to water, but you probably can't do it as well as Sneaky Gary, the serial horse drowner."

"Well doctor, my problem is basically this: when it snows, my eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen."

"A group of dogs walk into a University. They approach the receptionist who says, ""Hi, can I help you?"" ""Yeah,"" one of the dogs reply, ""We wanna see our Masters."""

"It's my favorite time of year, the time when everyone puts their clothes back on and goes inside."

"What do you call a lizard with sex problems? Ereptile Dysfunction"

"I'm lucky have a friend like you. I'm just glad he isn't TOO much like you."