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Joke of the Day

"Got to admire these NFL players who are so committed to their jobs of beating the shit out of people that they do it even in their off time."

"\r\jokes has the funniest most original content But at least I don't have Alzheimer's."

"How do you get to Shepherds Bush? Up the Shepherd's leg!"

"What illness are you suffering from if you keep seeing cartoon animals who talk? Disney spells."

"Here's a promise - if a scuba shop is within sprinting distance of the ocean and they let me try stuff on I'm not paying for a damn thing."

"Did you hear about the lady who backed into a belt sander? Disaster."

"Im the guy that says ""Is he bothering you?"" when some douche is hitting on you, just so I can hang around and bother you after he goes away."

"What do you call a bike in NYC that has been standing out in the sun for hours? Tire-less"

"What did the mexican boy say to his mom after he mopped the floors and found his brother? I've cleaned up and found Jesus."

"I hope all goes well with Princess Kate's baby delivery.., ...but I think it might turn out to be a royal pain in the ass."