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Joke of the Day

"How much does a Rabbi charge for circumcision? Nothing. He just keeps the tips."

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"How did the police determine which turtle ate the diamond ring? They conducted an in-turtle investigation."
"Why didn't the Cancer Cowboy head out West? He was afraid of Chemo-sabe."
"Last year I was quite miserable and depressed, so I made it my new year's resolution to turn that around. Thanks 2016, you helped me achieve my goal and made me depressed and miserable."
"Girl are you a prescription from my doctor 'cause you might be good for me but I can't read you at all."
"What song title defines a redditor's love life? ""Left Hand Free"" By alt-J"
"Which nut could pimp the Prince of Darkness? Mack-a-Dameon."
"Why did the scarecrow get an award? Because he was out standing in his field."
"Why do elephants do well in school ? Because they have a lot of grey matter !"
"What do you call a tropical depression on a SE Asian island? Malaise-ia"