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Joke of the Day

"How did the police determine which turtle ate the diamond ring? They conducted an in-turtle investigation."

"At this point most of the hugs I'm involved in are just my kids using me as a napkin."

"Oh yeah!! Well, if smoking weed destroys your short-term memory, then what does smoking weed do?"

"Someone should tell Pam at work that no one wants to hear how cool her boyfriend is unless she's dating a helicopter."

"want to feel old?? theres stil a infinite number of small wonders u've yet to experiemce in ur incredible life. so too bad. now u feel young"

"If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Mexican name?"

"What Happens if you eat Yeast and Shoe Polish ? Every morning you will RISE and SHINE."

"I lose a lot of arguments just so I can go back to my nap."

"How is /r/jokes like sex? I don't get it."

"Father's day, the most confusing day in the ghetto."