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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear Ellen DeGeneres drowned? They found her face down in Rikki Lake"

"What type of computer sings well? Adell."

"TIFU getting fired from the calendar factory All I did was take a day off."

"What do 9 out of 10 people consider fun? A gang rape."

"Me: ""Your mum sucks."" GF: ""That's not very nice."" Me: ""No, it's wonderful."""

"My new girl friend. Just got a new Czech girlfriend, but its taken her nearly 5 days to hoover the house. Turns out she's a Slovak."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw in the bulb and one to suck my dick."

"""well i asked asked her to move in after 3 months but i don't think-"" [cop interrupts me] do you know how fast you were going IN YOUR CAR"

"There are two types of people in this world. And I hate them both."

"how do you call a white racist whitler"