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Joke of the Day

"TIFU getting fired from the calendar factory All I did was take a day off."

"We only cook with fresh, local ingredients so tonight we're grilling our neighbor's cat."

"Where are people in Dallas staying to avoid getting Ebola? The Cowboys Stadium. Because they can't catch anything there."

"I hate it when I'm at someone's party and they keep asking stupid questions like... ""Who are you?"" and ""Is that a gun?"""

"What do you call a Mexican stationed out at sea? A Navy Bean"

"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is!"

"What did one gay man say to the other gay man in the gay bar? Stand up and I'll push your stool in. Yeah it's gross."

"'So Timmy, how did you fall into that well?' 'Oh. I never fell in, I was p- *sees Lassie do cut throat motion* -was jumping in.'"

"Wanna hear a construction joke ? I'm still working on it."

"Waiter there is a fly in my soup ! Hold on sir I'll get the fly spray !"