25605

Joke of the Day

"Me: "" *types in password*, Password Doesn't Work"" ** OMG I'M HACKED**.... *oh wait... never mind, CAPS LOCK WAS ON..*"

"Piss me off in the grocery store and I'll get in front of you in the checkout line and pay for a single tomato with a personal check."

"""That's nice dear."" -Grandmas version of ""cool story bro."""

"What do you call a black guy on a bike? Crime"

"I thought toddlers were the most energetic, obsessive, and relentless people on earth. And then someone got mad at me on Facebook."

"A pirate walks in a bar... A pirate walks in a bar with a paper towel on his head, the bartender says ""whats with that"" the Pirate says ""ARR!! I have Bounty on me head"""

"My wife has an odd way of starting conversations. She always begin by saying ""Hey, are you even listening?"""

"Went to see a psychic without an appointment and he wasn't expecting me ?"

"Turns out if you scream for no reason long enough, you get the rest of the day off from work."

"What do you get when you cross Mike Myers and a T-Rex? Jurassic Wayne's World!"