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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross Mike Myers and a T-Rex? Jurassic Wayne's World!"

"I love a woman that can shoot a gun, but I fear a woman with good aim."

"My therapist told me.. My therapist told me that I have a fear of confrontation. I didn't agree with her but I held my tongue in case it caused an argument."

"""Do you have a problem with drugs?"" ""Nah, I don't have a problem with drugs. I like all of them."""

"What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt? Usain Bolt can finish a race."

"My car is equipped with the best anti-theft device in Florida. I call it ""No air conditioning""."

"What did the baby say to its mom after breastfeeding? Thanks for the mammaries!"

"Whats a sign a subreddit has strong moderation? [removed]"

"Teacher- ""what does a chicken give you?"" Students- ""Meat!"" Teacher- ""Good! Now what does the pig give you?"" Students- ""Bacon!"" Teacher- ""Great! Now what does a fat cow give you?"" Students- ""Homework!"""

"My wife says I've placed unreasonable expectations on our kids, but I think Superman and Wolverine will turn out just fine."