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Joke of the Day
"Turns out if you scream for no reason long enough, you get the rest of the day off from work."
Next Joke
"I get out of awkward conversations by pulling a balloon out, making a dog and just say I need to take it for a walk."
"*Me & dog* *duel for the last piece of chicken* *tosses a stick to distract* *fetches the stick* *chicken is gone* Well played Peanut...!!"
"I don't blame Cat Zingano. I'm sure most men don't last 12 seconds with Rhonda Rousey either."
"A chemistry lab is like a giant party; Some people like dropping acid, others prefer dropping the base."
"Reinventing Yourself http://dryinginside.blogspot.com/2012/10/reinventing-yourself-doesnt-always-work.html"
"What kind of bees make milk? Boo-bees."
"just read an article about the horrible effects of binge drinking and fuck that im never reading again"
"What do you get when you cross a bunny with a spider? A harenet."
"Facebook.. reminds me a lot of high school. Full of alcohol, drugs, jealousy, sexual frustration and a bunch of boobs I'll never get to touch."