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Joke of the Day

"Go ahead, mate with someone who wears glasses, add to the degradation of our eyesight as a species. Not like there are bears we need to spot"

"When 2 Chainz doesn't want to be recognized he just takes off one chain."

"How to win the war on drugs... 1) legalize all drugs. 2) require that all drugs be purchased through Comcast customer service."

"Nicholas Cage... ...is where they keep all of the really bad Nicholases."

"""Pikachu, use astonish!"" *Leans into opponent's ear* ""Jet fuel can't melt steel beams."""

"It seems to me that if you can afford a barrel and a pair or suspenders you can afford a pair of pants."

"An Trainer talks to one of his Novice Doctor... 'I cannot wait to do this operation!' 'And why is that?' 'If I could not wait to do this operation,I would be no doctor... **'I WOULD BE PATIENT!'**"

"How do you test a saltshaker ? You call in a redditor."

"In the time it took me to RT in Favstar I could have written the tweet in calligraphy and hand delivered it to all 7600 of my followers."

"Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar? They each got six months."