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Joke of the Day
"Bill Clinton was surprised to find his old sandwich maker is ahead 12 points in the polls."
Next Joke
"(SPOILERS) I guess you could say Tommen... Made a King's landing."
"I accidentally slept with a prostitute last night... I thought I was more careful and smart than that, I swear! I typically check the tags on their feet first! :("
"Kristen Stew@rt is apologizing for ""everything she has done"", which I'm assuming includes the Twilight series."
"Me: *pets dog* Dog: Ruff Me: *pets dog* Dog: Ruff Me: *pets dog* Dog: Dude, I said your hands are ruff; can't you moisturize?"
"What's the difference between PHP and PCP? One makes you: * feel numb * see things that aren't there * panicked and paranoid * feel loss of control over your actions. The other is a synthetic drug."
"What is the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken."
"There's a reason you don't see many Jedi in relationships. They always try to force it."
"News: Ireland has now legalized ecstasy, meth, and mushrooms due to an unexpected legal loophole. In other news: I have a plane to catch."
"There are 30 cows. 28 chickens. How many didn't? 10"